Merry Christmas?
by rose.darling
Summary: Noah was the most sarcastic Christmas present Heather got by far. Prepared to be charmed-Noah's family style! Sarcastic and Bitter, and eventually Merry Christmas!


Hey, so instead of updating my ongoing story - Fake it all you want- which features Courtney and Trent, I've decided to write a Christmas one-shot with another cool pairing- Noah and Heather. They've also made some appearences in Fake it all you want. It's pretty long, but definitely cute, so please R&R and prepared to be charmed-Noah's family style!

* * *

Noah grimly stared at the cup of coffee the blonde cashier handed him. Can't a man get any decent coffee without feeling the need to throw up?

"Excuse me," he said. "But can you get me another coffee?"

"I'm sorry," the little blonde in front of him had a confused look in her big blue eyes. "I thought you asked for an Espresso con Panna?"

He clicked his tongue; some people just didn't have it. "I was referring to the cup," he pointed at the red cup with Christmas trees and Christmas decorations on it.

"Is there a leak in it?" she looked under it.

"Um, no, do you see one?" he asked.

She had a pleading look in her eyes and even though he enjoyed playing mind games, he enjoyed his Espresso more so he decided to end the torture.

"I'd like a normal white cup please."

"What's wrong with this one?" she asked.

"Why do I need a cup with," he grimaced. "Christmas decorations?"

Her eyebrows furrowed. It was a very tricky question. One wrong answer might cost her her job. "Because it's the holidays?" she asked.

"So?"

"Don't you wanna feel all Christmasy?" she joyfully said.

"Um, no," he answered.

She continued to stare at him unsure of what to do.

"Oh, fine," he grabbed the coffee from her hands.

Usually he went to the coffee shop for comfort, but right now it was much like a medieval torture room. And what was up with the music?And the overly cheerful people talking over the phone with multicolored gift bags sprawled around them? It was only Christmas. Why was it such a big deal? It happened every year!

He considered leaving when he saw her. She was standing alone exactly in the doorway at a round table . Her long black hair was swaying in the constant draft. Her small boney shoulders drew closer every time someone opened the door. He smirked. She had the same annoyed expression he had been used to. He wasn't in the mood for hugging and reminiscing old memories, but something told him that neither Heather wasn't up for that. So he did something out of character, but since everything already went downhill what difference was it now?

"Heather?" he walked up to her.

"Noah?" her eyes snapped upwards. "W-what are you doing here?" she shivered as the door opened again.

"Gee, what am I doing here? You've got three guesses," he answered.

She looked away. He wasn't losing his touch, thank God.

"So how are you?" he asked.

"Fine," she tightened the scarlet scarf around her neck.

"What no questions?" he raised an eyebrow.

"I see that you're still your sarcastic self so why bother?" she answered.

"True," he pulled the chair in front of her and sat. A challenging conversation once in a while was always stimulating for the brain even though the receiver wasn't being as cooperative as he had hoped.

"Did I say you can sit?" she testily asked.

"Did I ask you anything?" he answered.

She grumbled in response.

"So, um," he said. "Couldn't help, but notice that there are no bright colored bags around this table. Did you get mugged?"

She grimaced. "No, why should there be? It's just Christmas. I already have everything I want," she shrugged.

"You don't say," he answered. "Then why aren't you home helping your mom bake fruit cake and cookies or decorating the Christmas tree and helping your dad with the lights?" he asked hoping that she would just roll her eyes and claim that she didn't care.

"The maids baked all kinds of Christmas treats," she grimaced. "Calorie packed bombs. And they guys from Art-Deco came over a few days ago and decorated the house all silvery and red style. And well…my parents are away."

"Excuse me?" he winced afraid that he didn't catch the last part. "I don't think I got the last part."

She raised an eyebrow. "I said that my parents are away."

"Your parents are away for Christmas?"

"Yeah," she looked away. "What's it to you?"

"Lucky," he muttered.

"Oh," she smirked. "Something tells me you're not that thrilled about spending Christmas with your family this year."

"I'm not thrilled about the words 'Christmas' and 'family' in the same phrase period," he sipped from his coffee. "So what're you doing tonight?"

"I don't know," she scratched the back of her head. He dreamingly stared at the way her ebony locks swayed from left to right. She did have the loveliest hair he had ever seen. He shook his head. "Hang out around the house."

He moaned. "Sounds like heaven."

"You get used to it," she shrugged.

"This happens often?" He asked in disbelief.

"I can't remember the last time we spent Christmas as a family," she answered. "But that's okay."

"Oh, don't tell me you're starting to get soft, I'm too young to say that I've seen them all," he sarcastically said.

"You're too kind. So tell me, why don't you want to spend Christmas with your folks?"

"Let's see, my father risking to break his neck while trying to set on the lights, my sister's husband calling me 'little man' and my other sister's boyfriend constantly being in a coma and the annoying carols and of course getting scarred for life during the annual football game!"

She laughed.

"What, sports are not my forte!" he pouted.

"Sorry, but those are the stupidest reasons," she said rubbing her hands together. "So tell me now," she took a sip from her drink. "What's the real reason?"

Noah bit his lower lip. What he was about to do was slowly leading to losing the last ounce of dignity he had left. The look in Heather's eyes said that she was just having another bad day and all she needed was just someone to humiliate.

"Okay, brace yourself," he said. "Heartbreak."

"What…?" her eyebrows furrowed.

"You're making it so complicated," he rolled his eyes. "I was supposed to bring my girlfriend, my first girlfriend," he stressed. "For Christmas dinner, but she broke up with me."

"Okay," Heather quizzically looked at him.

"This morning, she broke up with me this morning."

"Harsh," she said. "What did you do?"

"I don't know," he scratched the back of his head. "She started crying and saying that I didn't appreciated her, that I never do romantic crap and that I…never say 'I love you."

"Crybaby," Heather scoffed. "You're better off without her."

"Thank you," he smiled.

"But you're still a jerk," she added.

"What?"

"Yeah, sometimes a girl can do with the sarcastic smart pants she has, but in other cases it's not enough and if you want a high-maintenance girlfriend than you should be more caring and attentive."

"Do you have a boyfriend?" he angrily said.

"That's not the point," she frowned. "And I don't do boyfriends."

"You mean to say you-"he skeptically looked at her.

"No, I mean to say that I'm not into all that relationship blah," she grimaced.

"Cool," he nodded.

"Still, sucks to be you right now. I almost feel sorry for you. Almost," she stressed.

He looked at her. She was looking livelier already. Still, the thought of facing his family girlfriend-less was just starting to sink in deeper and deeper.

He smirked. "So, you say that you're spending Christmas by yourself?"

"Yes, by choice!" she stressed.

"Yeah, so it's just yourself and your precious dildo. Okay."

"Hey!"

"Listen, I don't usually do this, but I really am desperate. Would you like to come, have a free Christmas dinner in a sickening Christmas spirit?" he asked. He gulped.

"Noah, are you suggesting that I go to your parents' house and pretend to be your girlfriend?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," he answered. "What was I thinking?" he shook his head. "You of all people-"

"Fine," she answered.

"F-fine?" he repeated.

"Only on one condition," she said. "Keep your slippery wanker hands off me."

Noah grimaced. "Wasn't planning on it. Like I said, I'm just really desperate."

"Like I believe you," she grinned. "But alas," she rolled her eyes. "I'm used to it."

He thoughtfully looked at her. She had fine chiseled features. He would be a hypocrite to say that he hadn't fantasized one or two times about her during the show. Of course, her bitterness had been a total turn off and he was pretty sure that she never thought of dating a guy like him. He saw in her dark eyes a really lonely girl happy that someone invited her. Wasn't that a unique sight? He ventured to say it was.

"When do we leave?" her fingers clutched around the cup absorbing any last ounce of heat it contained.

"We can leave now and see my dad finally break his head once and for all," he suggested.

"Sounds like a plan," she answered.

They walked outside the coffee shop. It was a sunny day. The snow on the street looked now silvery white. It was an ideal day for an ideal Christmas Eve. They passed by a few Santa Clauses.

"I feel so harassed," Heather rolled her eyes.

"Those people creep me out," Noah pointed to some people singing Christmas carols on two voices.

"Christmas is all about telling the people you hate to have a merry day and a happy new year. It sounds so wrong to me," she shook her head.

"So you don't say Merry Christmas too often?" he rhetorically asked.

"Wow, Noah, you read me like a book," she sarcastically said.

He smirked. "Sarcasm looks good on you."

They both winced upon hearing someone scream.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Probably my dad," he shrugged.

They walked to a house where a man in his late fifties hung upside down the roof with a Christmas lights installation wrapped around his ankle. There was another man on the roof trying to help him up and three girls stressing outside around him.

"Home sweet home," Noah sighed.

"Calm down, girls, calm down," the man said. "Noah!" he cried. "Great you're home, son."

"How's it going, dad?" he asked.

"Splendid!" he jovially said.

"I can see," he skeptically looked at them.

"Hey, little man," the man on the rooftop waved.

"Hey, Ray," he unenthusiastically answered.

"Brought your girlfriend around to party?" he winked in a way that crept out both Noah and Heather.

She grabbed onto his hand.

"It's okay, I'm not going to let them hurt you," he whispered. "Or worse, get to you."

"Noah, your girlfriend came!" a chubby lady separated from the other two girls and wrapped her arms around Heather's shoulders. "We are all so pleased to have you here on Christmas."

Heather tried not to stare, but the sight was too intriguing. Noah's mother was Muslim, no doubt. She had long thick auburn hair, a prominent nose and a violet bead in the middle of her forehead. What was a Muslim doing celebrating Christmas? She had yet to find out.

"Told you she was real," the shorter and thinner of Noah's two sisters elbowed his older one.

"I heard that!" he snapped. "Heather, this is my mother."

"Pleased to meet you Mrs.-"Heather quizzically looked at her.

"Vermont," she smiled. "And these are my daughters: Anna and Marry," she presented them.

Heather sized them up. Anna was wearing rather tacky clothes; maybe unfit for her age. She gave off the impression of a girl trying to look like a serious married woman while Marry seemed to be more of a hippy skater girl. She grimaced.

"We're so happy to…see you," Anna said staring at her in awe.

"She's a peach, little man, you pick them well!" Ray yelled from the rooftop where he and Mr. Vermont were finally putting up the lights.

"Don't tea-"his father slipped and almost fell off again.

"You're doing great, dad," Noah called.

"Come inside, you two. Noah, you made the girl walk in the cold!" his mother scorned him.

"She doesn't mind, do you?" he answered.

"Actually I do," she glared at him as they entered the house.

"Whatever," he shrugged.

"And what's up with your mom?" she asked.

"What about her?" he snapped.

"Isn't she…Muslim?" she had a confused look on her face.

"Yeah, but she's sort of um…banned from the family?" he answered.

"I don't think I understand."

"Well, she's originally from Turkey, fell in love with a Christian and there, the kids take up the religion of the father. It would have been shameful not to have Muslim kids so…her parents banned her."

"Oh," she didn't know what to say. Noah didn't seem phased at all and neither was Mrs. Vermont. She must really love her family and that was saying something since Noah was her son.

"Buzz is in the living room. Why don't you go and say 'hi'?" Marry asked.

"Think he'll manage to answer me before the end of the night?" Noah said.

Marry glared at him.

"Fine," he turned on his heels and marched to the living room where Buzz was laying on the couch looking at Christmas specials.

"Don't-"Heather wanted to see.

"Come with me in the kitchen," Noah's mother pulled her by the arm. "I backed gingerbread men," she revealed a plate fool of little cookies. "Please have one."

"Oh, no," she shook her head. "I'm on a low carbohydrates diet."

Mrs. Vermont gave her funny look. "Nonsense, you are too thin. Men in my country like round beautiful woman!"

"Leave her, mom," Marry said. "More for us," she grabbed one.

"Marry!" Anna elbowed her.

"What?"

"So tell us, how did you and Noah get together?" Anna asked.

Heather stepped back. She desperately looked around only to see that Noah was feet away with his eyes buried in a book.

"Well…Noah and I…met…" her eyes rested on the toaster. "In an electronics shop!" she answered.

"An electronics shop?" Anna asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I was looking for a toaster to…toast?" he desperately looked at them.

"Figures," Marry said. "Only Noah would pick up a girl in an electronics shop."

"I think it's romantic," Mrs. Vermont interfered. "Come, Heather, we don't need to stay in the kitchen," she guided her to the living room.

Heather smiled. She was starting to like Mrs. Vermont compared to Noah's nosy sisters. The living room was nicely decorated; a little too many colors for Heather's taste, but still nice.

"I see you like how I've decorated," Mrs. Vermont said. "I made half of the decorations."

"For real?" Heather carefully studied the snowflakes made out of beads hanging on the walls.

"It's not that hard," she modestly said.

Just then, Buzz loudly farted. "Dude," he laughed clutching his stomach.

"Real nice, Buzz," Noah left his side.

"You need to take a chill pill, dude," Buzz said. "Show some love."

"You need to take a shower once in a while, dude," Noah retorted.

"Noah!" Marry scolded him and went by her boyfriend's side.

Just then another scream was heard and both Mr. Vermont and Ray fell off the rooftop. Everyone went outside except for Buzz. They were sprawled on the snow.

"Dad, are you okay?" Marry asked.

"I'm fine!" he smiled. "Now," he picked up the outlet. "Let there be light."

And the house was covered in a glowing multicolored aura.

"My eyes, they're blind!" Noah hid his eyes in Heather's shoulder.

"It's wonderful, honey," Mrs. Vermont gave her husband a peck on the cheek.

"You don't think I exaggerated?"

"Not at all," his wife answered.

"Yeah, dad, I think that another pink light bulb would have been too much," Noah cried.

"So, little man, want to introduce me to your woman?" Ray threw his arm around Noah's shoulders.

"Not really," Noah brushed his hand away.

"And I'm not his woman!" Heather stressed.

Everyone stared at her.

"You tell them!" Marry seconded her. "Women shouldn't be objectified."

"Okay, I think we're getting too deep in the discussion here. Why don't we guys let the girls decorate the Christmas tree while we play football like real men?" Noah's dad cried bumping chests with Ray.

"Yeah!"

"Oh, joy," Noah sarcastically said.

"I'll go get Buzz," Marry went inside the house.

"You can stay here and watch the boys play. I can decorate the tree by myself," Noah's mother smiled at Heather.

Heather pondered whether she should stay outside in the cold with two annoyingly cheery girls or go inside and face some sickening Christmas decorations. But Noah's mother was a nice lady and the pleading look in his eyes made her follow her inside. He clearly didn't want her to see him get humiliated.

"Wow, you have a small tree," Heather stared at the Christmas tree. Hers was at least two times bigger.

"Oh, well, we don't need a big tree. We just have fun messing around decorating this tiny one. Or at least I do," she revealed a few boxes.

"Um, Mrs. Vermont," Heather had a confused look in her eyes. "We decorate the tree with all of these?" she asked.

"Yes."

Heather frowned. She was used to decorating the tree in only one color such as golden or red, but there were all the colors of the rainbow in those boxes. Mrs. Vermont started humming a popular Christmas song as Heather passed her Christmas decorations. She was enjoying the serenity of the room when they heard someone scream and pounce on someone outside. She looked outside.

"Oh, it's just the boys having fun."

"Sounded more like a girl," Heather shrugged.

"Then that must be Noah," Mrs. Vermont said. "He has always been a very…special boy," she proudly smiled.

"Yeah, I know," Heather smiled. She winced.

"I am very proud of him," she continued. "Please, pass me the star," she encouraged her.

Heather gave her the star to put on top of the tree.

"Lovely," she clapped her hands.

Heather looked at it. It fascinated her how a simple woman could do all of that by herself.

"It's amazing," she said.

"Thank you. Now, let's go outside," she threw a shawl over her shoulders.

When they got outside both Ray and Buzz were pouncing on Noah.

"Touchdown!" his father cried."

"All right!" the two men bumped chests.

"Go team…" Noah weakly cheered from the cold ground.

"Woo-hoo!" his sisters cheered. "You got them, baby!"

Heather looked down at Noah. Something in her snapped and what she did was absolutely out of character, but she would blame it on the gingerbread men. She could swear they had something in them. "Don't give up, Noah!"

He looked up to see her. He hit his head against the ground. "Kill me now please…."

The ball is again in his hand and to make matters worse he was about to get publicly humiliated. Somehow he managed to avoid both his father and Ray and it was just him and Buzz. He lounged at Buzz smashing him against the ground pressing the ball against his nose.

"Ha-ha!" he laughed. "Touchdown! How do you like that, dude?" he asked.

He looked around and everyone was staring at them shaking their heads.

"What?" he asked.

"Easy there, bro," Buzz pushed him off him. He had a bleeding nose.

"Buzz!" Marry clung to her boyfriend.

"Gee, son…"

"Not cool, little man," Ray had a disappointed look in his eyes,

Noah got up, cleaned the snow off his clothes and stomped inside. Heather followed him.

"Hey, for what's worth, I thought you were wonderful," she said.

"Did you?" his head snapped backwards.

"I did. That guy needed someone to kick his hippy ass!" she cheered.

"Yeah, well, tell that to them!" he said. "Bringing you here was stupid. I'm sorry."

"No, Noah-"she wanted to say.

"What was I thinking? Sorry for a horrible Christmas Eve," he went upstairs.

"Noah!" she cried.

She angrily hit the stairs. She didn't understand why she cared so much. She suddenly felt lonely; the loneliness she had been trying to avoid since the beginning of the holidays. Denial and sarcasm worked just fine until three hours ago before she was dragged to a house where the fuzzy Christmas feeling vibrated from every corner.

"Heather, what's wrong?" Noah's mother asked.

"Nothing…Noah is just having a rough day. I should go," she hesitantly walked up to the door. She was hoping someone was going to tell her to stop.

"No, wait! Don't go!" her mother caught her by the wrist. "This is all nonsense."

"I-"

"You listen here, I've never seen my boy happier than he was today and that's saying something!" she quickly said in her oriental accent.

"But now he's very upset," Heather thoughtfully said. "I managed to blow it, didn't I?"

"Nothing hot chocolate can't fix," Mrs. Vermont grinned. Heather could recognize that grin anywhere. It was Noah's grin. She quickly popped out of the kitchen holding two cups of steaming hot chocolate. "Now, Noah's room is on the second floor. He has the whole loft to himself."

Heather hesitantly looked at the cups.

"Go! Go!" Noah's mother urged her.

She went up the stairs to his room. She knocked three times, but no answer came.

"I hope you're decent because I don't want to be scarred for life," she cried before opening for door.

The room was empty and cold. The bed was untidy and books were thrown everywhere. Everywhere she would look she saw light brown wood. She shivered bringing her shoulders closer.

"Noah?" she looked for him.

"Over here!" he heard a cry from outside. She saw him resting on the rooftop.

"What on earth do you think you're doing? Do you have a death wish?" she yelled.

"Not in particular," he answered facing the sky. "What are you still doing here?"

His attitude angered her. He should have been grateful she chose to stay. "I brought you hot chocolate!" she snapped.

"Okay, then…" he inched away scared of her dangerous look.

"Help me up, you moron!"

He offered her his hand. "Love the pet names. What should I call you?"

"How about call-me-a-pet-name-and-I'll-staple-your-lips?" she answered sitting next to him.

"Sounds too sexy," he grimaced.

"Can't handle sexy?" she provoked him.

"Can't you see I'm oozing it?" he retorted."Goodness, you're shivering," he noticed.

"N-no shit, Sherlock," she trembled.

"Come here," he opened his arm inviting her in. "I won't bite, at least not literally."

"Fine," she scoffed cuddling against him burying her nose in his warm neck.

"What are you doing, nuzzling me?" he asked.

"I'm trying to get warm, stupid!"

"And I thought you were trying to be cute," he said. "So what brings you here to my secret hiding place where I plan world domination? Well, it's not that secret now, is it?"

"I came here because…" she bit her lower lip. "Because there's something wrong with this house! It made me feel all warm and…and caring…"

"Oh, I know. I've tried to ignore it for years now."

"Well you shouldn't have!" she curtly said. "Because…I think it's wonderful. I think the no one should be lonely for Christmas."

"Oh,no, they've gotten to you," he rolled his eyes."Don't take out your insecurities on me!"

She elbowed him. "You already have too much of yours as it is. This house is full of people, yet you're lonely. Lonelier than me."

He stared down at her. Her eyes were wide with emotions. The warmness between them was almost palpable now. He bit his lips.

"What are you thinking?" she asked.

"I'm thinking that…." He breathed.

"Noah Vermont for the first time speechless," she teased. "Now I can die happy."

"Way to spoil a moment, Heather," he answered.

"Oh, so we were having a moment?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Before you ruined it!"

"Touchy…well," she gripped on to her cup. "Well, let's relive it. Pretend I hadn't said anything!"

"No can do. You've done it, you've said it…"he looked away.

"You're right," her fingers snaked to his warm chest. "What I can do is kiss you so brace yourself."

"Hey, I didn't-"

She pulled him into a soft kiss teasingly pinching his lips. He wrapped his arm tighter around her back. It felt good. It felt warm. And for once it felt complete. He wasn't lonely.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"No, thank you," he rubbed his nose against hers.

"What are you doing, nuzzling me?" she asked.

"You've started it!" he snapped.

"Um, Noah," Heather had a confused look in her eyes.

"What?" he asked.

"What's that man doing on the rooftop," she pointed to the house across his where a man dressed in a red suit tried sliding down the chimny.

"Oh, the neighbours have annoyingly bratty children," he sighed.

"Santa never came to my place..." she thoughfully said. "I used to buy presents for myself or when I was little I got them on Christmas Eve."

"Well, no wonder you're not scarred for life. I got really freaked out when I saw a fat guy come through the window. We don't own a fire place."

They both laughed and stared deep into the others eyes as the annoying carol singers crept to their house.

"For crying out loud…"she moaned.

"Check this out," he took a handful of snow and threw it in their direction. "Go! Go!" they went down to his room.

"Wow, Noah that was dangerous!" Heather clapped her hands.

"I'm a total badass," he smirked.

She laughed. "Why don't you come over here and show me?" she winked.

And so he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a deep passionate kiss as the annoying people continued to moan like tortured animals outside and the blinding multitude of lights surrounded them.


End file.
